Payback
by scissorknot
Summary: Character Keller. Summary: Set during the time between the end of season 2 and beginning of season 3.


"_Hey, Beech."_

"_No! You fucking..."_

"Behave!"

"You know him?"

"_Say what? Oh, yeah, yeah, we've known each other a long time. I've known Vernon since we were both doing time up in Lardner. I was 17 and he saved my life from some big, dumb nigger who wanted me to be his prag. I've owed him ever since. I don't love you. I've never loved you, not for a second. Let him go."_

"Uh, Chris..."

"No, let him go! See what you got there, Toby, this time for real."

Snap! Right arm broken. Snap! Left arm broken. "Why? Chris why? I thought you cared about me?"

"My turn now. Sieg heil, baby! Sieg fucking heil!"

_Snap! Right leg broken. Snap! Left leg broken. "Why Chris? I trusted you. The sorrow in those blue eyes was too much for him to bear._

"FUCK!" Keller shot up in the dark sweating and breathing hard. For the fifth night in a row he had the same dream. He leapt down from Beecher's bunk and turned on the faucet. He ran the events of the past few days through his head as he turned on the water faucet. The first few hours were just like any other day in Oz. He ate lunch, watched Miss. Sally's tits bunch up and down, worked out, and got ready for lock down. But as soon as he was locked in the room with that empty bed with all of the ownerless possessions, the gravity of his mistake hit him. He found it kind of funny that he was sleeping in Beecher's bed. Like he was some heart broken teenager who want his one true love back. Aside from the teenager part he was. He thought about everything that had passed over the last five days as he splashed his face with water. He turned the water off and laid back down on his bunk. He placed his hands under his pillow and pulled out the shirt he placed under there. It was the green shirt that Toby was wearing the day he first kissed him. Toby smell still lingered to the shirt. The sweet smell of his Toby. Now he had fucked that up. He knew it was stupid but he still did it ever day. Balling the shirt up in his hand he took a deep breath. Savoring the faint smell of his love and the liquor. There had to be a way to fix this. Toby loved him. Still loves him. He just needed to do something so Toby would remember. Now how was the question.

During lunch Keller got an idea. He had noticed how uncharacteristically tense O'Reily had been. He knew that Beecher and Ryan had some type of relationship going on. It was nothing sexual. O'Reily claimed to be straight but Chris reservations about that. If he wanted he could have O'Reily on his knees begging for more. But Ryan was not his type. Well not his type after meeting Beecher. All he wanted was for Beecher to look at him like he had in the laundry room. With nothing but pure love and devotion shinning through his glistening blue eyes. And O'Reily was the perfect pawn to get to Beecher.

"Irish."

"What."

"I need to talk to you. Lets go to my pod."

"What you want Keller?"

"What's the latest on Beecher?"

"With the meds Dr. Nathan got him on he doesn't know whether he was coming or going."

"Has he said anything about who did this to him?"

"No but do you even have to ask? You know who is responsible. It's that Nazi fuck Schillinger and his little prag Metzger."

"I know. I just do not want anything happening to him while he is hopped up on Demerol or what ever the hell they got him on."

"He's on a Morphine drip."

"How the fuck do you know that?"

"Fuck K-boy. I thought by now you would understand I know everything that is going on in here."

"Right. Must be your Irish charm. I've got a favor to ask. You think you can get me five minutes alone with him?"

"What's in it for me?"

"A fifty and a carton of smokes. Half now and half after I have seen Beecher"

"Works for me. Tomorrow during lunch. I know you miss your Beech boy but don't you think this is kind of a waste. He is going to be so jacked up on pain meds. He will have no idea who the fuck you are."

"You just arrange it and I will take care of the rest. Got it?"

"Hey what ever floats your boat big man."

Chris watched through the door. Waiting for the signal from O'Reily. Seeing it he quickly made his way in the make shift hospital and over towards Toby's bed. He hesitated momentarily when he finally made it over to the bed. He did not know why. Maybe it was the shock of seeing the aftermath of Operation Toby, or maybe it was the fear of Toby rejecting him, or maybe it was the thought of seeing so much hurt in those striking blue eyes again and knowing he was the reason. Hell it was probably all that plus some other shit he had not thought about. Chris reached out to touch Beecher but pulled away. He did not want to hurt him and he definitely did not want to scare him.

"Toby?"

The blonde sluggishly turned his head to look at what was calling his name. He waiting for his eyes to focused but they were not working for him today. He watched as the fussy shadow kept talking.

"You probably have no idea who I am right now even if you can understand me but I am so sorry Beech. I know there is nothing I can say to make you forgive me, but I am going to work my ass off until you do. I promise you that. You are the only good thing that I have ever had in my life. I don't care if it takes the rest of my life. I will wait for you to forgive me and love me again."

Chris looked up just in time to see Ryan waving franticly. "Must be time to go. Sleep tight Toby. He softly kissed the broken man on his head and made a promise to god or whoever the fuck was up there that he was going to fix this. That done he took one more look at the man he loved lying in a bed that he was responsible for putting there. He closed his eyes and left the room before he shed the tears he was fighting to hold back. When he was out of the room he leaned against the wall and whispered to no one and every one. "Even if it takes another life I will wait for you to forgive me."


End file.
